Thursday, July 30, 2015

8 months post op!

Wow! Has it really been 2 months since my last post?! I have been so incredibly busy that I haven't had a moment to myself! My business is going great but more relevant to my blog-my weight loss is going phenomenal. Let me back track a bit. Since my last post I have started a 12 week fitness challenge, which ends this week, I went to Vegas (lost 3 pounds while I was there!), and I made it through July 4th! As far as my weight goes I am 5 pounds away from my goal weight of 159. I weighed 164 a few days ago and I am feeling so amazing! I actually sent my surgeon a before and after picture the other day thanking him for saving my life. Before having VSG surgery I had 3 phases of my transformation in mind. The first of course was having the weight loss surgery. The second was getting into shape and I can honestly say during the last 12 weeks I have gotten into the best shape of my life! My arms are toned and my leg muscles are crazay! Phase 3 is skin removal surgery, which I knew I would need to have. So, next month I am going to start searching for surgeons. I will need breast implants because I have empty socks right now and I need my excess skin removed. Sometimes when I look in the mirror I don't know who that thin person is. After being overweight for so long its hard to change your way of thinking and the way you see yourself. I am in a size Large, some mediums. and a size 12 pant. I do have days when I still feel 252 pounds. Carrying around this extra skin makes me feel like I did as an overweight person. And that sucks. But I know its just a matter of time before those feelings are long gone. I can't wait! Maintenance is just around the corner...and that scares me a bit. After being on a lifelong journey to lose weight, I wont have any weight left to lose. That's just strange to me.

Monday, May 18, 2015

6 month Surgiversary!

Well, I celebrated my 6 month surgiversary last week. Actually, I completely forgot about it until the day had passed, but life is good. Stressful, but good. I bought a business and quit my job, which scares me. A LOT!! But I am confident in my decision. I also started a 12 week weight loss challenge that involves a personal trainer that feels the need to KILL ME everyday. But I guess that's what I pay him for. Today I weighed in at 174.2. We leave for Las Vegas on the 29th and I was hoping to me 169 by then but not sure that's going to happen-so close though. My trainer gave me a calorie range of 1450-1650 calories a day which I struggle with. Its very hard for me to reach 1200! I have my 6 month appointment with my surgeon tomorrow. My insurance has changed so I'm not sure how that's going to work. Not much other news.....basically just focusing on my new business. That's all for now!

Thursday, March 26, 2015

19 weeks post op- Life is AMAZING!

3 weeks since my last post! Geez! So much has been happening in life, weight loss, work and travel! Weight loss has slowed but it's still coming down, so I'm good with it. Monday I weighed 181. Only 5 pounds in 3 weeks but that's still something and something is much better than nothing! Life is great. I feel amazing. I am making plans to do things I never thought I would do. I was just looking at pictures from last summer and I don't even recognize the girl I used to be. It's actually kind of difficult to look at those pictures and not get emotional because I instantly start feeling the pain and misery I was once feeling. If I could tell my old self in those pictures one thing it would be that you are so much more than the number on the scale. You are stronger than you think and keep pushing forward! I stopped believing in myself and that damaged me more than anything. Once you stop believing in yourself you stop fighting. And I stopped fighting. In fact, I had no fight left in me. So many diets. So many efforts. So many dead ends. I felt hopeless and desperately needed something drastic. VSG was my answer and it was exactly what I needed to help me live longer for my kids and live happier for myself. I had everything to live for but I wasn't living I was just existing. Now, every morning I wake up and I'm excited to get dressed, I'm excited to go places and see people. Before it was a struggle to find something to wear and convince myself I had to go do something. I had to find motivation to see friends and make plans. Miserable doesn't even come close to describing it. I always looked at myself as being healthy, other than my weight. Little did I know, that weight was slowly killing me. I often experienced heart palpitations, shortness of breath and pain in my stomach, which now that I look back at how large my midsection was, I think all that belly fat was literally squishing my insides. I couldn't sleep on my stomach because it was hard to breath. I couldn't sleep comfortably on my back because the weight of my belly compressed my lungs. My PCOS was at its worst!! I just cannot express enough how much this surgery has made such a difference in my life! We leave for Disneyland in 5 days and I am SO excited to actually be able to fit in rides with my kids and join in on the fun and not watch from the sides like I used to.

Monday, March 2, 2015

16 weeks post op!

I weighed in this morning at 186.4!! I had a mini goal to be 185 by the time we leave for Disneyland, which is on the 31st and I should definitely make it! I may even be in the 170's. Eating is great! Nothing disagrees with me. I definitely can't eat much but I do occasionally splurge and eat a bite of my husbands desert or a bite of a piece of chocolate. And I am fine with that. I am completely satisfied with having an occasional treat, just not all the time. I would much rather fil up on protein and veggies than a piece of bread or pasta. Come to think of it, I don't even miss those things anymore! I am feeling so wonderful and am so thankful for this surgery! We will be leaving for Disney in 4 weeks and I am just as excited as the kids. I cannot wait to experience things I would have not otherwise done 66 pounds ago! I wont have to be afraid I wont fit in the rides or on the plane. We will be walking so much I am not concerned about nibbling on things throughout the day. I ordered a fitbit on Amazon and cannot wait to try it out. I wanted it for when we go on our trip and track my steps. After the trip with the kids, my husband and I are taking an extended weekend away to Las Vegas with some friends. I also cannot wait for that! I've been searching for a swim suit but so far I haven't found one I love....the struggle. To think my biggest issue right now is finding a swim suit is crazy to me!

Tuesday, February 10, 2015

13 weeks post op-

I am feeling AMAZING! I am finally able to gauge how much I can eat. For once in my life I am in tine with my body and can control my cravings, control how much I eat and most importantly I feel comfortable in my own skin. This surgery has truly changed my life. It saved my life. My blood pressure is a constant normal- which it has never been before. I am so very grateful for my surgeon and his team who helped me re-discover life.

I had my 3 month check up today. My body fat percentage went from 56% down to 47%, which still baffles me. I'm a little disappointed in that number, but what can I do but keep plugging along. I lowered my goal weight from 170 down to 160. My BMI is 30. When I started it was 39.9. I weighed in at 190.4. I'm so close to the 180's! I have to start weight training because I have lost almost 9 pounds of muscle which is alarming. So, I go back in 3 months and how amazing would it be to be at my goal or close to it!

Monday, January 26, 2015

Week 11 Post op

How can 11 weeks be gone already? Either way I will take it! The scale was down another 1.4 from last week, so I am 198. I spent the morning shopping at one of my favorite stores that is closing :( I found 3 dresses for our trip to Mexico this August. I cannot wait! One of them is a size medium and two are larges. I figure I am only 28 pounds from my original goal of 170, and our trip is 6 months away, so that's losing less than 5 pounds a month! I got this! My friend invited us to join them at a Valentines day ball. It's fancy and you have to dress elegantly. I did try on a few dresses but I'm still not comfortable trying them on. I still feel like my midsection takes over. So, I'm not sure we will go. We'll see. Next week I can start eating lettuce, YAY!! I really hope it agrees with me. So far I can eat everything, which is both a blessing and a curse. I'm finally able to gauge how many bites before I'm uncomfortable. We went out to eat last week which was only the 3rd time since surgery that I went out. I over ate. Some of it came up. Not to the point where I was throwing up, its just a "productive burp". Gross, I know. So I spit it out and it seemed to be just enough not to happen again. I feel like I am finally able to drink liquids better. meaning I can drink about 3 medium sized gulps and it have to let that go down before I drink more. Spicy things make me have instant and PAINFUL heartburn, but I can live with that I guess. I've made a few new things this week that were amazing! I'm actually moving my blog soon, so I can add recipes, pictures and a few other useful pages. I'm getting close to 60 pounds gone and I cannot wait to be there!

Friday, January 23, 2015

199.4!!!!! I made it!

I woke up to the best surprise! I'm finally under 200! I haven't been here since before having kids, and that was a long time ago. I am finally in sync with my body and how to read my hunger, which was a challenge in the beginning. I am thinking about moving my blog because I haven't been able to post any pictures, it keeps giving me an error. So, my next goal is 185 by March 31st, which is the day we leave for Disneyland. I had a few things happen over the last week that were firsts for me. I went into Maurices, one of my favorite stores when I was plus size. And what did I do? I walked right over to the plus size section and started shopping. I found 22's, 20's and 18'and then it occurred to me. WHAT am I doing? None of these fit me! My mind hasn't yet caught up to my weight loss. I still catch myself thinking and LIVING like someone that is still 252 pounds. If you've never been overweight then you wouldn't understand the constant whirlwind your mind goes through as an over weight person; will I fit in the seat when I go to a movie or out to dinner, will I run into someone I know and what will they think of me? It's a constant battle trying to talk yourself into actually living your life. For the first time in a very long time I feel like I am finally living again and not just existing. Having this surgery has been the best decision I've ever made for myself! I was looking through old pictures the other day and immediately got emotional because when I see myself as that overweight person I can still feel all the pain and worthlessness I felt. It's really hard to look back on. I am so grateful to be filling this year with new experiences and actually living my life again.