199.4!!!!! I made it!

I woke up to the best surprise! I'm finally under 200! I haven't been here since before having kids, and that was a long time ago. I am finally in sync with my body and how to read my hunger, which was a challenge in the beginning. I am thinking about moving my blog because I haven't been able to post any pictures, it keeps giving me an error. So, my next goal is 185 by March 31st, which is the day we leave for Disneyland. I had a few things happen over the last week that were firsts for me. I went into Maurices, one of my favorite stores when I was plus size. And what did I do? I walked right over to the plus size section and started shopping. I found 22's, 20's and 18'and then it occurred to me. WHAT am I doing? None of these fit me! My mind hasn't yet caught up to my weight loss. I still catch myself thinking and LIVING like someone that is still 252 pounds. If you've never been overweight then you wouldn't understand the constant whirlwind your mind goes through as an over weight person; will I fit in the seat when I go to a movie or out to dinner, will I run into someone I know and what will they think of me? It's a constant battle trying to talk yourself into actually living your life. For the first time in a very long time I feel like I am finally living again and not just existing. Having this surgery has been the best decision I've ever made for myself! I was looking through old pictures the other day and immediately got emotional because when I see myself as that overweight person I can still feel all the pain and worthlessness I felt. It's really hard to look back on. I am so grateful to be filling this year with new experiences and actually living my life again.