Monday is my endoscopy. I am a little nervous but mostly just want to get this over with. I am starting to feel like this whole process has been way too easy and something is bound to go wrong. I meet with the nutritionist and the psych Dr. Wednesday, and surgery is in 3 weeks!! I am getting super excited and cannot seem to think about much else, really. I have been buying a few things here and there but for the most art I am trying to wait until I hear from the nutritionist so I know what to get.
Oddly enough I am not very sad at the thought of missing food. I really am taking it a lot better than I thought I would. And maybe it just hasn't hit me yet because I know I can still have it now if I want it. I am committed to following my Dr.'s suggestions and NOT cheating around the timeline they are giving me. I have spent my entire life cheating on every diet I've done and I'm not about to go through all of this just to cheat yet again. I have to be patient and trust the process.
I have been looking for a necklace with an anchor pendant on it and engraving "I refuse to sink- 11/10/14" to wear as a reminder of how much I have gone through and that every day I will be faced with challenges- but it's how I choose to handle those challenges that really matters. I can choose to sink, or I can choose to swim. And I will always choose to swim!
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