Conquering Fears

I have done many, many...MANY diets in my lifetime. And I have failed at most of them. But I think the commonality between all of those efforts and the fact that I failed at them was one simple thing. It wasn't will power, although that was part of it. It wasn't that I stopped "wanting" it. It wasn't even that I didn't give 110% of myself to the program. Nope. Because with most of the diets I tried, I did quite well. I can remember losing 17 pounds after 3 weeks on Atkins, 45 pounds after 5 months on weight watchers, 30 pounds after 5 weeks on HCG.....the thing that I failed at was conquering my fear of failing. I remember feeling on top of the world when I would look back and see that I had actually been successful and lost weight. But then something would happen. I would suddenly become overwhelmed with the fear that I would gain it all back. I was fearful of not getting the results I desired which sent me into a tailspin of disaster. And guess what? I gained everything back. Every.Single.Time. I gained it all back and then some. And in doing so it built up a wall of even more fear, so the next time I wanted to lose weight and start a new "plan", I would lose weight, feel good, and then I would hit that wall of fear. It was the dreaded cycle of weight loss.

I still have that wall of fear. It's something I think will always be there. But it's okay. This time I am prepared for the wall and I know that I may not ever be able to break it down, however, I have no doubt in my mind that I can climb over it. So that's what I must do.